Do not hurry into a marriage for whatever reason!


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Aside from feeling in love to someone it need some more for a marriage in the Philippines. You can marry only one time and this should be perfect ... 'till death will part you'.

Think more then twice!

For example: My story
When I was young, I am dreaming of having a perfect life someday. It goes like finding the man of my dream, get married and build together a simple but happy family. But dream is far, actually so far from reality. Maybe, there is a lot of men and women who are really lucky in finding their better-half in life. But there is also a lot who is not lucky. And one of them is me. I met my husband thru his cousin who is my best friend. To make the long story short, we get married and we have three girls. At first our relationship is smooth, we are poor but we are happy together. Until the time he slowly change, he go with his friends. They are drinking until they become drunk. He start to become a gambler and the little money he earned from the whole day work, he lost it in the gamble.

Because of the love we found in each other, we decided to get married to become legally man and wife. We say our vows to help each other 'for better or for worse'. The husband promise to become a good provider for our family. But in my case, he is only there for worse. We get married so our children will be called a legitimate child, and I become the legal wife. It means that if our husband is working, we are the one who can have all the benefits from his work. Like health insurance, and his pension if he is retired. The legal family also will be the one who have the right to all his property if he have.

But how about if he is jobless? He lost his job because he is lazy enough to work after he spend all night drinking? And the next day, he cannot get up on time to go to his work? What will you do if there is nothing left to buy foods for the crying kids because they are hungry? What will you do if he arrives home in the middle of the night, drunk and asking you to serve him food? And if you cannot serve because you don't have food in the table he will beat you? Do the love that binds you together can serve food in this moment? Or that love that you found and lead you to marry him will slowly fade and fly out from the window?

This are some of so many questions that slowly raised in my mind when I am alone finding means for our living. This is the time that from being simple housewife rule, I slowly become the good provider for our family. What is worst is, he become dependent on me so I carry all the burden on my shoulders. Instead that he is the one who will support us, it is me now who is working hard to earn money. Time come that all is really worst and I cannot take it all anymore. But the biggest problem in my part is to how to escape from this situation. It is okay to work and earn money. But it is not okay that he is there hanging with his friends and having their drinking session while I am working. It is not okay, if he is drinking and he is asking money from me to buy alcohol and cigarettes. And it is not okay if I will not give him the money and he beat me. Reality strikes me, I cannot eat that love, I cannot serve that love on my children to let them stop crying if they are hungry.

I am stuck in my married life. I cannot get away from it. Here in the Philippines we don't have divorce unlike in other countries. All I can say now to those who is still single: Think and try to know more about the man you want to be with for the rest of your life. If he is really there for you thru thick and thin, for better or for worst. If he is the kind of man that can be a good father to your kids, a good husband and a good provider. A family oriented man and to be fair to the man: you need also to see if the woman you want to marry have the potential to be a good wife and mother and teacher to your kids.


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